By Mirage Memmer
The lesson learned before it was even taught…
I imagine I’m not the only mother in this universe who reflects on every little detail of my child’s day. Yet, I imagine I’m not the only mother in this universe who also tells herself that she doesn’t have the time, the energy, or the patience to look back on each detail of her child’s day. But the scope of why mothering can be daunting, grueling, and a slow burning of love towards her child is because of those two balancing acts—finding the time to reflect, and yet not over thinking the tiny details.
I’ll be the first to admit that as a mother of a highly sensitive two-year-old boy, I have my days that are pure exhaustion. Exhaustion may not even be the right word. More like dragged-out, ready to face a cooler of icy darkness because the amount of emotions you go through raising a toddler who wants, needs, desires, and then begs for your love… well, you want to just hide in that cooler of icy darkness because the amount of numbness is so overwhelming. And quite frankly, being awoken in a cooler of icy darkness may be a great hiding place while little one asks for the 13,007th time that day “help” or “but why” or “Mama” or “Mommmyyyyy”.
I’ll also be the first to admit that I’m one of the luckiest mothers in the world to have a highly sensitive two-year-old boy. My child found me, he found his father. He found us. He knew we were equipped to handle the most extreme highs, and the most extreme lows that fall within his realm of senses. Days where our glasses run empty on energy of positivity and excitement, he reminds us by how much he loves us with a wonderfully squishy, sweet hug. When explained to our son in matter of factual verbiage and emotions attached to a rule or consequence, he is wiser beyond his peers. Those are the times when I realize how lucky I am to have a little boy who I already know is smarter than I am. Because isn’t that what we desire for in our kids, to be a much more intelligent, compassionate and loving person than we ever could be?
The good days, those are the best days. But they’re also strenuous as a mother of a child who requires so much advocacy and assistance in understanding how the world works. Because having a child with senses that are far more heightened than the average person, it really makes you stop and reflect constantly. For the fourteen hours he’s awake in a typical average day, you’re continually thinking about how to make each situation the happiest for him… each game, activity, snack, meal, car ride… naps… and then the bath, hygienic routines… everything that consists of a typical two-year-old’s day… it’s up to you as a mother of a highly sensitive child to create an immensely supportive world for him. Because if you don’t, he doesn’t thrive—and there you are, back in that cooler of icy darkness waiting to be rescued. But what occurs when you are supportive and detailed-apparent with every single moment being just “right” for your child? Well, not only does this child thrive… he becomes a remarkable human being that you know is destined for greatness. And, for those good days, you not only survived but you (as exhausted as you are), you my friend have thrived, too.
Having a child with senses heightened further than my own perceptual grasp has made me realize one of the best secrets to success, purpose, and ultimate happiness in life. See, my child has been given many gifts just as every person has been given their own uniquely coded gifts as well. These gifts, in my perspective, are biologically and scientifically engineered from both parents. When someone is able to accept these gifts and direct them towards the service of others in this universe, that’s how someone connects with God—or guardian angels—or whomever, which ever you believe… and this is how I see divine intervention work its most beautiful canvass. I am my son’s advocate at the time of his conception, while pregnant, in the past, in the present, and far into the future. The biggest job of being his advocate is showing my little boy that his gifts are to be applied from science to now intangible Godly love—towards tangible service, compassion, and any other form of positivity that can be expressed through what his life may offer him.
By Mirage Memmer
Listen to this episode of the Conscious Living Podcast Featuring Mirage Memmer: