Teaching children about peace is the first step to creating more and more world peace. Children naturally come from love and desire happy relationships and a peaceful environment where they can grow and thrive. Without fear or judgment, children often coach each other and adults in simple and profound ways to release what troubles them. Their simple loving approaches at comforting others is beautiful to behold. But consider this: what if we gave them some powerful tools to teach others how to heal their pain and suffering in addition to their offer of loving comfort?
Why Bother Teaching Children About Peace? Why Conflict Resolution for Kids?
All children need conflict resolution skills because one day they will be an adult and it will empower them to be able to manage the many forms of Conflict Energy or “energy exchanges” that adults deal with that create powerlessness.
From the moment a child notices that they don’t feel safe, happy or loved to the first time they become aware that their agenda or expectation has not been met, all infants and children experience conflict energies. Let’s look at two examples:
Example 1: Agenda Not Met
A child may not get what they want from mom or dad, which results in feeling frustrated, possibly angry and sad leading to an outburst, tears or hitting. They may project onto mom or dad that they are the source of their feelings, but they are not. This means they are trying to blame mom or dad for their feelings instead of understanding that they created their own feelings in response to not getting what they want.
Example 2: Survival Agenda
In my healing practice, I often locate on a person’s timeline where they experienced their first conflict and, surprisingly, it is in the womb. When mom, for example, is experiencing her own difficult emotions, the developing fetus will often try to “take on mom’s suffering so that the pain can end”. Typically, the reason the soul of the fetus does this is two-fold: first, they do it out of love for their parent to help and two, they do it for the trickle-down effect. The trickle-down effect goes something like this for a fetus experiencing the discordant frequencies, such as fear and anxiety, that the mother is experiencing:
“If Mom doesn’t have to feel fear and anxiety, then she won’t be producing high levels of cortisol and other stress hormones, which feel bad for me. If she is more peaceful, then I will have a better experience developing in the womb. If I feel more peaceful, I can grow and thrive and have feel good, too.” While this is all done on the level of instinct, not logic, it is coming from the part of the brain for survival. [Note: The good news in this is that we are currently seeing the new children that are being born are transcending these survival mechanisms, which points to our evolution.]
Why Teaching Children About Peace Is Important
If children go through life believing that Others and Life Circumstances are the Source of their Feelings they will stay stuck in blame and feel powerless. Feeling blame and dis-empowered creates a deep conflict for any child and can pave their life-path with bigger problems, like depression, loneliness, low self-esteem to name a few.
We must begin teaching children about peace by teaching them to notice their Conflicts and the Conflicts Others Have Towards Them, which they can be sovereign and free from. I believe that every parent can teach their child that “living life as a Sovereign Being” is the number one goal above all others. When we live life sovereign, we are truly free from Conflicts, which supports and reinforces being happy and peaceful.
How To Teach Conflict Resolution For Kids in 5 Easy Steps
Step 1 – Acknowledge there is a Conflict
Step 2 – Release the Projections, Judgments and Beliefs from others on you, from you on others and about yourself. Release the Conflict, all Components and Conditions
Step 3 – Forgive the Conflict…Let it Go!!!
Step 4 – Proclaim yourself Sovereign or Free of the Conflict and invite Others to be Sovereign too
Step 5 – Shine the Truth of who you are, a loving Sovereign Being to yourself and others
Let’s break it down for a kindergarten student who is struggling with another not playing with him. I’ll use the names Jack and Jill. I use this with my son, who recently turned five years old and he really understand this work. He is now teaching children about peace in his playgroup at school.
Adult Supporting A Child In Conflict – Helping To Release Bad Feelings
Adult: What’s wrong, Jack? It looks like you lost your happiness somewhere. Do you have a Conflict or something?
Jack: Yes. Jill won’t play with me.
Adult: Would you like your happiness back? (This sets the intention for the child.)
Adult: OK. Let’s just talk for one minute. Would you like to release what you feel coming from Jill about you?
Adult: OK! Great! Let that go. Would you like to release any thoughts or feelings you have about Jill?
Adult: OK! Great! Let those go. Would you like to release any negative thoughts or feelings you have about yourself about maybe why Jill won’t play with you?
Adult: OK! Let those go. Would you like to be free of this conflict and not need anything else from it? (No conditions –like an apology; or components –like the teacher has to make things better.)
Adult: Great! Can you let it all go? Can you say, “I let this conflict go”?
Adult: Great, Jack! Would you like to be free of this conflict and never let it hurt you again?
Adult: Jack, you did great work here. Is your happiness coming back now?
Adult: How are you feeling now? (This gets the child to notice how they feel different).
Adult: Well done, Jack! Now, go have fun and find someone else to play with!
When A Child Has A Self-Conflict
We have all seen a child get frustrated with themselves as they are learning new things or sad when they mess up. This is all about self-judgments and self-limiting beliefs. Children (and teenagers and adults!) push their happiness outside themselves when they go into self-judgment. Whenever we notice them do this, we have to guide them to take it back.
Adult: What’s the matter, Jill? You look and sound so sad. Where did your happiness go?
Jill: Stop talking to me! I don’t want to talk about it.
Adult: Jill, more than anything else in the world, I want you to be happy. Is that okay?
Jill: I guess…
Adult: Do you have a conflict that is creating sadness in you? (*)
Jill: Yes. I can’t use the scissor and I can’t make what I want.I keep messing up.
(*) Others and Life Circumstances are not the source of my feelings, I am.
Adult: OK. So, did you judge yourself when you couldn’t use your scissors? (Acknowledges the conflict with Self.)
Adult: Would you like to let that go? That’s not helping, right? It might even be making things worse! (Releasing self-judgments.)
Adult: OK, let go all the ways that you went into self-judgment and self-limiting beliefs that you couldn’t use the scissors and make what you want, because that is not true.
Adult: Can you forgive yourself and let this go?
Adult: Great! Would you like to release this conflict and take your happiness back?
Adult: OK, just imagine that your happiness is out here in front of you and grab it now and put it back in your heart!
Jill: (swipes the air in front of her and puts her hand over her heart region).
Adult: Woohoo! You did it! You took your happiness back!! Great job, Jill, I’m proud of you. Now, how can I help you work with scissors and support you in making what you want?
The Bottom Line About Conflict Resolution for Kids
Teaching children about peace is simple and is worth the investment of your time and energy. By supporting and teaching conflict resolution, your child can experience life with much more ease and grace. This is a long term payoff for you! Initially, you will have to help them see conflicts everywhere and with everyone. This is the first step and is easily grasped by children after about three examples. Here are three areas you need to teach them where there are Conflicts:
If they don’t like what is on the menu for breakfast, don’t like that you can’t afford soccer camp or hate the teacher assigned to their grade…it’s a conflict!
If they feel horrible about their grades and fear the wrath of dad, don’t like being bullied or want their best friend to apologize and they won’t…it’s a conflict!
If they get frustrated learning a new sport, hurt them self or can’t get what they want…it’s a conflict!
Once children are trained to see their conflicts, then they can move into releasing them. Once they are released, they can let it all go and reclaim their happiness and independence from the Conflict.
Peace comes about when all projections, judgments and beliefs are cleared from a person’s heart and mind. Peace comes to the child who begins to refrain from making judgments of others and life circumstances and stops going into self-judgment. Peace is shared through shining their peaceful state out to the world that they are conflict free and not going into judgment about others or themselves.
Let the children spread world peace. You’ll be glad you took the time teaching children about peace, how to notice their conflicts and let them go. And the world will thank you for teaching conflict resolution to children by becoming more and more peaceful and empowered.
If you would like to receive customized support with helping you guide your child, please contact us. Help is available. We look at the root cause of the child’s greatest conflicts on the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels to shift their painful experiences. This help move them into their power and out of Conflict Energies. We work with one or both parents and support the healing in many families.
CONSCIOUS LIVING PODCAST
“On Soundcloud – Center for Conscious Kids and Conscious Living Podcast – Episode 28 ”
With peace and love,
Annie Peterson-Kolatkar & Ashley Lee, RN, BSN, CCRN
Founders, Brain Integration Institute
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